where have you been??

first of all the question was actually for me.. why? in this few weeks i've been away from writing anything because i'm afraid that i might post something that i shouldn't say and tell here..

complications in my life currently was like a massacre..

i don't know.. okay.. no!.. it's a bullshit if i said that i don't know.. i know..

i'm broken hearted.. i'm depressed.. i'm in tense.. i'm in full of anger..

still it was hidden under..

why is it hard to trust a person that we used to trust.. and am i too naive in letting people in.. its very frustrating.. come and go just like that.. happens in one night.. do you ever felt very.. i don't know how to portray such bid hates and disappointment in my heart right now..

let put one situation..

you met with some one, and you start to like him/her.. yadiyadiyada.. back and forth.. back and forth.. he/she ask you to meet.. you guys meet and then start to express feelings.. but in the end you guys were left on a dungeon to rot.. its like you have been left astray on the street..

well what ever.. or maybe the example was way out of the road.. but still.. then when you trying to adapt yourself to something.. something did happen for me and i've been restrained on such matters.. well i don't even liked it..

nonetheless for the posers, stop pushing your lucks.. why.. because it gonna get worst.. i try to be nice to people and grow to be a new leaf with good manners and no verbal abused.. i'm surely in confidence that i has lessen my cursing and what not.. but still.. people do it.. 

i'm sick of you guys who defying me..

one person says to me that be like a fish. why?? to it surrounding in ocean it is salty but still the fish was not salty cuz of surrounding.. means that.. trying to ignore the surrounding was a bliss and make you stronger..

but i'm stilll............