its you again.. Hai

wow!!

2011 is almost at the end. so as of for my 1st semester here. at the time i'm writing this i was actually take 'a few minute' break from accomplishing my home assignment. 

letih la juga buat kerja ni semua sebab minggu ni paling hectic yang pernah aku lalui DEKAT sini and it is not even final yet. baguslah kalau masa final nanti tak banyak kerja macam aku tengah pecah kepala dan bermigrain sekarang ni. this week is a very hectic weeks because:

1. going to Langkawi

2. Lots of 'replacement' class (not to be elaborate)

3. Dealing with jobs opportunities

4. DELF

5. Account

6. Tests, Quizzes dan sewaktu dengannya

7. etc etc

what ever happens and come towards me or us, we need to endure it with no hesitation and sigh. because when you sigh it shows how frustrated and negative you are. but i often sigh myself. 

now lets talk about December. well obviously it's almost at the end of the year and i have to start drafting my yearly blog on 1st January 2012. well last month is quite challenging and heart-throbbing for me but yet i myself improvING the situation myself to make it better. if you did not do it then who else it is your situation and do not even dream or having glance of people changing it for you because it is rather impossible yotch.

hmm.. later back last year in November i have many extraordinary excitement and pain happen. because it has been already a year since the accident. i'm getting better and better of well-being. in that particular month also happen a relationship of me with her which incur early of that month and i just realized that i have no post related to you. only a post that i say of unpredictable. see how pathetic i am so cold and macam orang eskimo hatinya or i think its colder =.="

well honey. i actually raise up this post when i actually thought of you, November and us. but that happen just now is a memory. either it is precious or not, you by yourself and i by myself knew.

So... hmmm.. i still won't say it because of my traits of egoistic.. and this post is for you.

can it be more disgusting?!

menyeru kepada semua rakan-rakan yang berwibawa dan cerdik pandai.. tolong la ada rasa bersih sikit dekat dalam diri tu sikit. like what the hel.. korang ni ingat tempat tu memang littering place korang ke? adoiii...

the story actually began like this..

as i watched the clock ticking and it showed that Asar is almost end, i quickly rise up from the bench at my study desk and went to the toilet to take a bath. so with happy feeling i took my towel and hurried myself to the toilet. at first i entered this one toilet, close and lock the door after i have had 'disrobe' myself suddenly i saw this!!!!...

-the scene-

-the horrifying evidence-

i was like... damn!!... apa ni wei!!.. jangan la pengotor sangat wei.. it is a pubic hair!!.. why do i assume that way. eh tak kan lah rambut kepala sampai banyak tu kot same goes with armpit hair it ain't going to be that bushy!.. shit! banyak pulak tu!.. dah berapa tahun kau bela? kau trim tu sebab kau nazar ea? dapat masuk UiTM kau trim pubic hair kau.. defak wey!...

kau ni la kawan. why do you have to do so. at least you can clear your own hair with your own hand by your own self. sedap2 trim sedap2 tinggal. what? you think that we don't have eyes of our own... blurrghhh... agak agak la wey..

( ~... ~   )

will a person stop trying?

trying. i have sighed deep for that word lately.

can a person survive without trying? i would say that most of you dear readers will say yes for the statement that i had just given to you guys. we were urge to try for the best of us bla bla bla (encouragement statement yadi yadi yada) because well i don't know what to describe because at this point i think i want to stop trying and also trying to be happy if literally i don't even felt so.

what is for to pretend something that you actually kept inside you for the sake of people will you as havoc and bubbly than anybody else because it is fucking pathetic. (woops!)

but yeah, frankly i think that trying to hard for something that you had been trying for aaageeessss should be stopped and start with something else. ditch it th old one. but what the heck. you ditch the old one but u gain a NEW WHOLE OF SET in the term 'trying'. like what was that supposed to mean. say that you want a new life but yet you keep on doing the verb the so-called 'precious' word because you know what 

It ain't work that way!!

yeah yeah yeah. it should be something encouraging and mind-opening something-something here eventually it is ain't happening yet this is the bad side of me when i have felt soooooooo fed-up with the thing that i've tried. i don't actually get it what i wrote earlier but i know its a twisted words but i think you'll get what i mean and the main point is i'm frustrating facing here is

HOW CAN A PERSON IS TO BE HAPPY WHEN ALL THE HAPPINESS HE'S TRYING TO CONCEALED ACTUALLY NEVER EXIST!? 

In the other hand, i personally think that us as human being cannot run away from the word TRYING. yeah, i need to get a grip of thing actually. what i say up there is actually to perish all of the blocked feeling inside me the negative thought i've bared for quite a long time since many heart breaking event happen this past few months and i bet that my new year post will be every exposing that cannot be eradicate yes completely.

so as of tonight, I MUST YES AGAIN "TRY". TRYING TRYING TRYING. TO GAIN HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, MONEY, POWER. HURGHH.. it fluctuate form what i want in the real path but i must stressed on the capitalized letter. but at some point i feel that getting away from people and try to stand on my own feet. what i mean is to let people find for you not you the one finding people although it might sound egoistic but be the man you know you can be and stop giving hints Mr. AwalKhamis!

is it?

today is your birthday,

earlier this week i hope that i'll be the one that wishes you Happy Birthday! first. but it seems that i did not manage to do so and yes i am totally disappointed with that because what the heck, a person -one of- that is really matter in your life when it reach to matter like this you are not there to be the first.. it's hard laa..

i was doing my assignment when i started to realized that it is already 1:03PM. i was 1 hour late to wish you... addoii macam ni la kan tapi biasa la, bila dah terlalu komited nak buat benda tu bom jatuh pun kita tak dengar. so i try to call you and i was thinking that your where asleep because i called you twice and it seemed that you switch off your phone and by that i assume that you were already asleep. so, i text you a 2 and a half page text explaining myself to you but when i almost press the "send" button, you called.. YOU CALLED!!

aku apa lagi, dah la berkurun kau tak contact aku and now you called me.. on your birthday in the middle of the night.. well the positive thing you called me in the middle of the night whereas the painful fact is that the call was free.. because its your birthday.. but nevermind.. so as i counted.. since the past 3 years me knew tonight is the 3 times you called me..

is rather a good achieve for me by you and i really appreciate it a lot dear person.. because i'm too speechless of what happen and still drowning, so as i say.. 

thank you for the call and the picture..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

you'll always be my belly mucux!!..

summer morning,

the sky will not always bright,

collision of weather,

not cause trouble,

but serenity to peaceful realm.

nature in damp and cold,

whisper the gentle breeze

with cozy affection.

indescribably majestic,

trees shedding tears in mist,

of what happen to the world,

of voracious lust.

be there for me,

be mine when i'm lonely,

be by my side when i need thee,

not anymore i ask from you for me.

is to stay not to leave me,

only you i can foresee,

the nature that was given for me.

     

-AwalKhamis-    

3.28PM

3rd November 2011

for thee that appreciate thou..

shine bright,

glimpse in the sky,

does not fade in the night,

the you are,

my divine moonlight,

searching in the dark,

looking for uncertainties incurred,

but lies define,

covered in cold shade mist,

but rise through out from the shroud,

oh my you are so mesmerized,

cunningly bring grace to the sky,

with diamond blistering around you,

thanks only for YOU,

Allah WHOM give the precious pleasure..

i'm sexy and i know it..

Kehadapan para pembaca ,

hmm... aku baru lepas baca blog yang aku follow dan aku rasa sangat terkuzat dan juga terkesima sebab banyak blog yang aku baca ayat-ayatnya semua BOMBASTIC dan hebat belaka..  apa sajalah..

well do tell you guys what i read tonite i felt it... its like all the words from my following list is for me, it's from many ways.. for me to think, reminisce jap2 aku rasa macam aku dah benci dengan perkataan 'reminisce' tu.. aku nak jalan je, redah je apa yang jadi yang orang hidang depan aku... tapi takde la aku nak telan semua benda yang dihidang... akan la aku tapis dan kelas-kelas kan 'khasiat' yang diorang bagi tu... yes!!.. ayat aku dah mula complicated.. korang pepaham ea..

so??.. aku nak cerita ape yee.. macam macam aku nak cerita.. kenapa aku hilang.. kenapa aku dah tak contact dengan orang yang dulu aku suka hang-out, sesembang.. AKU MALAS.. aku dah ula untuk jadi selfish.. because why... perlu ke kita terhegeh-hegeh dengan orang yang bukan saja jarang contact malah 2 mesej sebulan pon susah nak dapan.. dengan harapan dapat alasan yang munasabah walhal jawapan dia hampeh amat..

kawan lama 34

aku takut kau busy or kerja.. aku tanak kacau kau..

jawap aku

baik kau delete nombor aku..

kawan lama 66

alaahh.. aku sukan tanak call or text kau.. takde masa laa..

jawap aku

kau tak payah nak tipu sangat laa... PM pon boleh online facebook la bagai.. beliau lagi sebuk..

yea tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.. inilah jawapan yang bukan saja aku akan dapat.. malah korang pon akan dapat benda yang samaa.. euuwhh!!... nak terajang je muka orang yang bagi alasan yang macam tu... nasib baik jauh..

ada benda aku nak cakap pasal diri aku sebenarnya... aku rasa dah samapa masa untuk aku bagi tahu dan luahkan benda ni...

BERAT AKU NAIK 2 KILO!!!...

hahaha!!... okay.. maybe tak lawak.. at  least aku dah cuba sedaya upaya nak bagi korang tak boring dan tertidur macam dalam kuliah..

okay... kali ni serius.. aku nak bagi tahu benda yang aku akan bagi tahu... i't about me...

orang yang rapat dengan aku macam BFF aku ke... kawan-kawan lama aku ke dorang akan cakap yang dorang kenal sangat dengan aku..

• aku perahsia..
• aku gila meng'ushar'
• aku akan berdiam diri bila tiba masa aku berdiam
• aku senang faham kalau kau nak cakap apa-apa dekat aku
• aku memang nampak menggedik tapi tu bukan aku
• aku banyak mencarut tai benda tu bukanlah zikir bagi aku
• aku akan hipokrit kalau aku tak suka kau dan kau akan nampak tanda aku tak suka kau
• aku sanggup tolong kawankawan sedaya mampu
• aku boleh cuba berkorban untuk DIA sebab aku bukan lagi yang dulu
• aku memang rasa AKU DAH BERUBAH sebab aku dah tak layan benda yang aku layan
• aku nampak menyusahkan sebab aku terdesak
• aku boleh percaya apa yang korang cakap tapi once korang tipu aku, aku akan COP korang

banyak pulakk.. haha.. biar laa... nak baca, baca laa.. hak korang.. yang aku nak cakap INNER SIDE AKU DAH BERUBAH!!!.. cakap la ape yang kornag nak cakap.. kisah pulak aku.. aku dah letih dengan benda yang aku buat dulu.. adalah beneficial dan not beneficial.. amenda laa aku ni.. 

should or shouldn't it be untold

once i read these brilliant quotations..

"our live is derived from experiences"

(from my pencil case made in Korea by Omnibus)

"facts may be facts. if somebody ants to argue with you, there are many sources

of information to cite. emotional matters are something else. what you say is based

on nothing but your feelings and therefore, cannot and should not

be challenged. those who will try only make themselves look ridiculous"

(The Sun, 8th September 2011)

i have been keeping these masterpiece for quite a long time.. i might not be as creative as a good writer for flowery words.. but what i wrote is from my experience and also from my own indigenous feeling.. must not regret is the what we need to learn from life.. the decision we made is what we already think and ready for the consequences but neither both of the decisions and thoughts are reliable because the future is uncertainty yet full of ambiguity..

bare in mind that what ever that people call you and tag you as only you know yourself and how you function.. what i experience from before and now on is that what we chose are not actually in the way.. following HIS decision is what MUST BE OBLIGED.. the nature of new thing and surroundings towards new kind of setting can actually teach you and strengthen yourself is you think and reminisce it thoroughly.. one way to look into you is to feel the nature.. after SUBUH look throughout the window and feel the breeze and listen to surrounding..

look for tranquil sound and start to

set your mind as thick like the Great Wall of China..

aim high like a skyscraper..

dream beyond imagination like the bird..

learn to adapt like the life of a caterpillar and swing beautifully like a butterfly..

live out your life to the fullest..

think you are a big loser, yes you are because you have many things more to learn and observe

think you might lose in a war, you might lose but don't give up your dignity easily

think that you are at the bottom of the wheel, then just be patience because that is part of life

think that you are lonely and empty, you have friends not to do then cry out loud

think that you feel bored with life, all you need is to sing your life

the moment you realized the good things in live rather than being so obscured is a not a momentarily feeling but you can obtain it anytime with open-mind.. 

"DON'T LET IT SHATTERED LIKE A PIECE OF GLASS WHEN SMASHED ONTO THE GROUND.. BE A DURABLE ONE.."

welcome back Awal Khamis

assalamualaikum... hello minnions!!!...

dah serabut jugak blog aku yang dah bersawang ni.... welll the reason that i didn't update my blog is that i'm actually was not preoccupied with work of stuff.. i have lots of thing to pour between ideas feeling and things that i consider really important to be share with you guyys... first and for most.... i'm starting the new life in my own hometown for  not going to the place that i really want to go.. the karma i have is that, i had saw the person who used to be that hard in socializing life now a heavy socializer.. i don't mind he or she to be so because they choose that kind of living and mingling.... WHAT EVER!!!

and the reason that i like it, loved it actually is because i think that i am recovered and also really blessed in the changing that i'm feeling... i'm on the pursuit of happiness in my study..  to be frank i actually missed the life in TeSL... because the life there is so underwhelmed in thoughts and brilliant new ideas.... here i don't have that kind of experience anymore not that i be little this kind of people but i can't find anything make in sense in what they are doing and they are thinking not like the way i used to think.. the way in having real university lives...

i don't want myself to be like these kind of people being drool down into their lair of ways in thinking and stuff... sorry friends.. i don't mean to insult or putting you guys at rage... but the reason i wrote this is because i want myself to learn about the way people are living in the way they are.. i know i have had made this explanation more complicated that it supposed to be...

from the bottom of my hart peeps.. i'm sorry... not to insult... but as a reminder for myself..

i missed the thing i used to have...

i missed those people..

i missed HER...

i missed them..

i missed ijoy..

i missed azwa..

i missed arif..

i missed zakwan..

i missed athir..

i missed 2D..

hatred, lies and jealousy

*deep sigh*

in the middle of almost -going to be- adolescent i had learn many things and most of the thing is learn is from my surrounding and people.. i am missing and all the good stuff that i endure.. trying to collapse my ego to the lowest part as it can be.. but i don't know is it progressing or not..

am i a big ego?? i would say yes and now indeed.. but in my egoistic attitude, i can still accept people advice, point of view and opinion.. is it good to have ego.. with this ego also i had loss many things and people in my life that i don't know someday will be a really great memoirs in my head.. to have that kind of paradigm in life is such a treasure..

referring to the title, all that is mentioned is a negative and provoke-able in doing and saying something foolish.. to be true -halfway of this writing i don't know where does it will going to- i wrote this in many feelings and a mixing memories..

or

this thing can be really a liability in life - take a gun and shoot your head with it- so that you can achieve many thing in life... saying that this might be true.. so do please say is it going to be a liability or an edge to something new..

flush it out man.. be strong with it.. for the mention you will be.. don't just say though you are... prove it... i know many of you dear readers also have this kind of feeling how did you guys cope with it.. cause to say it nicely i'm struggling with this..





p/s: friend, i know you will read this.. just so you know that i really care about you.. i know you are something special.. i'm a fool to let you go or trying to let you go..

you guys are brilliant.. keep it up

there are times in my life that i wish that time will stop so that i can precious the moment that is going through more severely immense in me..

having memories that is most valuable is cunningly divine..

heart, mind and soul need to be one in endearing something that is.. so.. what does it relate to my writing.. well firstly, before my laptop was stolen fortnight ago i am writing a novel which is halfway through and i forgot to make a copy of it and lots of other things.. i let the thief run along with my stuff because sometimes we can't prevent these things to happen -take cautions- in moment we didn't even think off..

most people don't know that i wrote novels, short-stories and poems.. i didn't revealed it cause i'm not that confident enough to show my writing to people.. for only people that i think i can make do with i gave them read it.. nevertheless  is the passion in writing.. passion in writing can actually develop your mind from being under the weather to be out of the box..

i am self assured that the process of thinking come from the senses we have.. by watching, hearing, touching.. the stimuli given to the brain make us think and develop new idea from it..

in example of blogging.. we express our thoughts and feeling.. some make it a diary, some make it a companion.. nevermind what you guys do as long as you have the interest of writing.. i have many so called amature writers which is my friends.. brilliant things -sometimes they do- written and to be frank i most follow blogs that i would say their words and writing is amazing like yong sofea, aqida, rauf, melle and etc that is more to be mentioned now.. i may not know other brilliant writers.. but the one that i've gotten and followed is much mesmerize and refreshing food-for-thought..

so anyone that have blog whom follow my blog.. don't hesitate to give me your link or even tumblr or anything that is in reading style.. 

wahh!!!... heavynya posting aku kali ni.. my intention of giving lite reading to you guys but when i read it become heavy.. sorry guys.. tapi ni la aku nak cakap... kalau korang ada idea apa-apa yang terlintas difikiran terus jot it down on a parchment or notes app on your phone or anywhere so that you can save it and say something about it..

sebab ilmu yang dikongsi dengan orang lain akan lebih bernilai dan bertambah.. jangan malu untuk menulis apa yang terlintas difikiran anda kerana tiada siapa dapat halang anda dari berbuat demikian.. semua telah dibenarkan dalam perlembagaan article 10 -freedom of speech- namun kemudahan yang diberi janganlah disalahgunakan yang bermaksud menulis sesuatu yang tidak releven dan tak dapat mencetuskan susah pada diri sendiri..

dengan itu.. berfikirlah dahulu sebelum menulis apa-apa... jangan terlalu mengikut kata orang

"ehh suka aku la nak tulis apa.. ada aku kacau kau ke??"

"kisah pulak akukan kau nak bunyi2.. mampus aku laa.."

amalan ini tidak baik sebab ia menunjukkan betapa egonya anda untuk tidak menerima pandangan orang lain..

jawaplah dengan jawapan yang sopan dan tidak menyakitkan hati mana-mana orang.

"aku tulis apa yang aku rasa.. maafkan aku kalau kau sakit hati.. boikot la kalau kau mahu"

"aku cuba untuk kongsi apa yang aku tahu dan apa yang fikirkan.. tu saja"

sopankan.. ngee~!

i hate u till i die..

aku memang tidak akan percaya dan sayang kau lagi sampai bila.. sebab kau lah aku sanggup jadi macam ni.. sial!!!.  

caption kena striking and controversial baru la ade orang minat.. hihi... semua tu cuma rekaan.. jangan salah faham 

the longing that i've been waiting is mostly perfect to determine who i am in the future and i can accept that now from the time that i have trouble to face it.. 

i officially said that i'll be pursuing my study in

"Bachelor of science (hons.) in Culinary Arts and Managements"

at first when i receive this deceiving fact i was like "What?????!!" so tak apa-apalah.. i know i'll be fine.. kalau aku tak suka mesti aku tak pilih on the first place.. so let it be.. siapa nak makan free sediakan bahan aku akan masak untuk korang.. hihi... tapi kena la buat appointment dulu.. haha. chewahh...

dua cerita aku nak kongsi dengan korang semua... yang pertama pasal security guard dekat shopping mall yang aku kerja ni... haaaaaaaiiiiihhh....

they were so ANNOYING!!!...

story goes like this.. on every each days, my manager will gave them a copy of our daily shows start and end time... tapi... dorang ni sangat rajin yang teramat sangat... on everyday dorang akan naik kat tempat kerja aku dan tanya..

Security Guard 1 (SG1)

dek.. masuk last pukul berapa.. habes pukul berapa.. abang nak yang start dari pukul 10pm masuk dan keluar dalam jam yang sama... lepas tu jam lain..

so aku mula-mula dengan perasaan ikhlas layan la encik ni... tapi pakgad ni dengan muka bodohnya berkata dia tak faham apa yang aku terangkan.. ape ke pekak dan lembabnya otak pakgad tu... aku dah terangkan sgt detail... bukan aku cakap bahasa tamil atau urdu dgn dia... BAHASA MALAYSIA OKAY... so mood marah 2.0 mula naiklah... aku terang sekali lagi... lepas aku terangkan aku bertanya..

AwalKhamis

kami  bukan dah hantar ke jadual harian show dekat security department

SG1

alahh.... bukan sama pon dengan yang dekat sini

AwalKhamis

*senyum plastik, tangan cengkam mouse, hati !@%$!@$%*^... ohh yekee... *nada diplomatik* tapi kan bang.. bila kami dah hantar daily showtime.. mesti la sama apa yang department abang dapat...

SG1

lain... tak sama pon...

aku dengan perasaan marahnya beredar bila pakgad tu berambus... aku ke belakang dan menyumpah seranah pakgad2 yang datang tanya.. ya mungkin bukan salah mereka.. apa salahnya kalau kau tengok dan update diri kau untuk tengok notice board.. sangat MENJENGKELKAN... lagi jengkel dari chatbox fb yang baru.. ye mungkin korang akan cakap.....

kawan 32

alaahh awal.. kau ni... cakap je laa... bukan kau rugi pape pon... kau kata bazir air liur... pegi la belakang minum air..

kawan546

kau ni garang sangat.. cuba kawal sikit api amarah kau tu..

masalahnye.... hari hari diorang datang tanya benda yang sama benda yang kami dan yang datangya bukan 1 kadang kadang tu 2 3 orang, ape hal!!.. bukan menghina tapi tawu la korang tu badan + size.. tapi jangan seksa kami sampai berkali-kali.. sudah la customer pon agak dapat yang stok2 kena cakap 5 6 belas kali baru paham.. ni nak bagi korang pulak pahamm.. memang mintak lesing r..

ni lagi satu kes yang aku musykil.. does Malaysian people is that lazy to read... because why guys... it's actually most tragic when people had give most everything to them for mutual convenient

story is like this.. dekat exit door yang akan digunakan oleh customer untuk keluar telah ditampal perkataan

"EXIT DOOR PUSH"

so as an evidence to believe that people is lazy to read is when they actually look only at the door hence seeing the door is close they use the entrance which is side by side.. an isle had been made for them to actually walk down straight through the exit door... what for the isle is made is the door is closed.. keje gile ape.. kalau macam tu.. memang sah2 la salah management... nak kata buta perut, belajar pepandai.. nak kata buta, pakai contact lens sampai nak terkeluar dari mata.. ape ke susahnya... macam2 ler... padahal benda ni memang common thing yang kadang2 tu kita sendiri tak perasan.. and yes self also need to take note the thing but tak kan la kemudahan yang orang dah bagi tu tak tahu nak guna.. orang dah senangkan kerja... saja nak turun tangga buka blockade yang kami buat guna barrel menyusahkan diri.. susah betoll...

Malaysian and also myself... please help yourself to ease people work.. we are not dumbass.. we are one of the developing country... wake up people... kalau makcik jual goreng pisang boleh pakai blackberry, abang jual air tebu pakai iPhone dengan tetapan bahasa inggeris boleh maju dan paham.. takkan benda mudah tak dapat ikut..

helloyellow..

first of all peeps i hate yellow... secondly i use it cause it rhymes.. thirdly i totally hate yellow..

it had been awhile since i wrote something and this time i don't want to make a bumpy-feeling-post-with-many-things-to-digest...

now i'm saying and i want to talk about being skeptical. in this mean my skeptical is about having only 1 define on something... sejak kebelakangan ni bila kawan-kawan dah mula buat aku rasa terasing ni aku mula berfikir.. sebab i would cry for friends thinking of friends would despite in me.. yes.. i may not say or do good things to people.. but i do very well knew when i do so i am sincere doing it.. so what does it about being skeptical.. as for i know i need to think it positively though i know its a lie

aku bukan nak buat post sedih tapi memang.. i do value a lot in friendship... bila aku dah anggap orang tu  is something special in me.. i'll start to care, i'll start to deceive stuff.. but there is limits on that... put aside being betrayed and left rotten on the sidewalk nevertheless dry with nothing.. but just say though i am... why must i be treated like that...

i do have people that i endear so much..

i don't want my morning to start with cloudy and cold day.. and if it does happen i'm hoping for these people to be with me..

jauhkan aku dari api neraka wahai ibu..

perihal ibuku yang amat cool.. hahaha.. mak aku ni kengkadang dia lawak. kengkadang dia ni garang.. macam macam perangai dia aku tak dapat nak agak.. haha.. at this moment dia tengah makan durian dengan sepupu aku... yuckks!!.. i'm allergic to it.. i can't stand the smell of that awful fruit even the texture makes me shiver... *gigilgigil*..

now let me tell you something that i want to tell you guys.. haha.. the whole agenda is actually about a template picture on her new phone.. its so hilarious.. she was caressing her new phone until at that wallpaper template part..

Ibu:

adeq.. macam mana nak buang gambar yang ada dekat depan ni deq?? buat sat.. mak rimas laa.. dah la tak menarik perhatian..

AwalKhamis:

gambaq apa mak?? mak ni... kacau adeq memalam sikit boleh.. tengah sibuk  membalut badan ni.. dah la tengah hujan renyai2.. Ahhhhhh~~~

Ibu:

bangun la deq.. sat gi hang dah nak pi kerja dah.. dah jam berapa hang tak bangun lagi ni...

AwalKhamis:

mak pagi ni tak rock laa.. bagi la adeq tidoq sat... halaaaa.. tolong la faham keperluan semasa adeq..

soo.. mak aku pun berlalu lah kata-katanya tanpa sebarang bicara dan amarah.. hanya berdiam dan tangannya laju menekan pepunat yang ada pada telefon bembhet nya itu.. then after 15 minutes.. mak aku datang kembali menghantui aku..

Ibu:

adeq.. tolong laa mak jap.. padam sat benda ni... hudohh laa...

AwalKhamis:

halaa.. hmm.. mak nak padam yee.. senang je mak... mak sebot PADAM kat skrin tu.. pastu padam la dia..

mak aku yang terlalu naive pagi tu tanpa berfikir.. mak aku pun sebut PADAM dekat skrin telefon dia tu.. aku yang mendengari kata-katanya berbaur jenaka itu terus berpaling menglihat wajah ibuku yang blur setelah menyebut PADAM...

haaa... tunggu lagi!!... Laugh-Out-Loud laa.. hape lagi.. sangat lawak.. time tu kazen aku tengah mandi dan terdengar perbualan kami... dia pun tumpang la sekaki gelak.. tak pasal2 mak aku jadi bahan malam tu.. tu satu kes.. banyak lagi kes yang menggelikan hati aku menyakat mak aku.. tapi ni yang paling dahsyat... kesian mak aku ni.. aku tak bermaksud nak cakap macam tu dan aku tak sangka mak aku akan sebut benda tu..

me mom and me step pa..

hoo you need to settle-down honey

tell me is it yesterday or way down the timeline that the drama in life had exist.. yes.. it exist since the existence of Adam and Eve.. like we have to take lesson on their tragedy... so basically that is life.. the wonderful of life and the dark days of it.. a wonderful life is all we ever dreamt of.. but no life is not going to be wonderful all the time..

you will feel like your existence won't get any better , nothing on contribution , you feel like you should die rather than wasting more time and commits more sins , nothing miracle will happen..

remember.. i'm giving advice to you guys and myself that what ever errands you ran into or fell into.. there is something better at the other side of the tunnel.. don't think that things happen cause you are so stupid in making decisions or maybe saying..

"ohh i should've done this instead of saying that"

OR

"what am i doing, giving such assumption and says that to that person"

yes.. you might have said -just a little bit out of your intention-  things that you thing that its necessary after coping with it for a period of time.. you think that you says something that you should have said a long time ago.. there is good and bad results you have to endure..

life is short and we might not have experience what other people had experience in their life because said by Tom Hanks in 'Forest Gump' -life is like a box of chocolate and you never knew what you'll get next- many philosophical postings, writing from any time of learning is done and this is one of it..

so learn from other people's life because you know that you maybe not going to experience what had had or have had your friends experience.. to learn it from them is one of the chapter completion in life theoretically not hypothetically.. 

i'm posting this for all of you to read and to learn from it.. i'm also posting this is for myself and to ease myself from the worldly matter that i had blind into... don't get blinded by the sign given.. read it through...

be sincere to everyone.. don't lie.. if you think that its time for the ending just say it.. don't hold up.. be brave and it does take times to recover.. but recovering is better than wasting its time..

if life is like Photoshop..........

aahhhh... how wonderful if life is like photoshop.. you can actually edit most of the flaws so that your picture will look good.. and frankly i am really don't know what to write in here but my mind keep buggling saying :

"Awal.. you must blog.. for the survival of you brain.. or else you'll become like The Grinch"

and here i am... well lately i've been compliance with my own rules and decision.. i are have many rules to follow and it didn't back stabbed me... cz i designed it and i alone can redesigned it according to situation.. hell yeah!!!..

an official declaration that I.. AwalKhamis of the Awesomeness® just started using Twitter.. haha.. so what the heck.. i had signed up for nearly 6 month.. seeing it on my 'most visited' at my chrome (previously used by IzzulsyfqMazlan) make me wonder.. s my account does still exist.. and BAMM!!... it does.. how cool is that.. and me felt like me sucks... i no sucks... i'm LEGENDARY..... cz you see.. the people whom met me will put this commencing reply from them..

"Ohh Awal you're so funny.. you make me cry"

(of coz it would have gone in the other way around... duhh...)

"you're weird man... how do live in this world"

(the hell with you niggah.. i try to keep it down son)

"hahaha... you're hilariously interesting man wonder what will happen next"

(i'm gonna bust you in your face.. what so interesting about me)

yeahh.. i know that i have a very 'stunning' set of hair and appearance that kept people to stare down at me even when i'm yawning.. seriously man.. what's with you guys.. the judgement is to cold man... me sad  :'(

so yes.. partly of all their comments i don't care and some i do care.. I WANT ANSWERS PEOPLE!!.. (settling down)I don't have much to say.. but i wonder..

our Malaysian politics has it turbulence moment and now is one of the time.. the 'clean' gathering... what the hell is that... i don't watch tv anymore.. it have been nearly 2 month and i don't know the real situation.. i usually get the update a week or more about current issue.. AwalKhamis of the Awesomeness® will not get back of current issue.. he must know for the continuation of his life...

please people... show me some love will ya... do say good things about me... i 'love' you guys who says nice things sarcastically in Facebook.. wait till i get my fist down your throat... 

The End..

p/s: I feel lots of negative energy in this post... sorry minions i'm a good guy...^_^v

to hell you bloody cockroach!!

oh my god!!... i'm infuriated by the roach... kurang asam nak mampos.. ade ke patot dia literally kejar aku... dah la boleh terbang...

macam ni... i was chatting with my friend on FB, and i saw the roach.. at first i let it be there for i was hoping that it will remain NO harm for me.. alas!!.. demn cockroach!!.. it ran as fast as it can towards me and when it almost reach me... IT FLEW!!!.... ouuu you S.O.B!!.. how dare you... and the rest let it be a mystery... so i hate roaches.. so what??.. pfftt -.-' and it happen just now..

and today as i work i felt really happy.. because the past 4 days i've been assigned at ticketing so... a very unpleasant scenery, customer, attitude etc, etc.. the thing that i want to write about here is WHY DO YOU CRAZY LOVE HAWK HAD TO FLIRT IN FRONT OF ME!!.. 

dah2 la korang bermanja-manja di bangku rehat pusat membeli belah... depan kaunter tiket pon korang nak bermanja ke... tolong laa... kesian la kat aku yang yang akan kerja 7 8 jam bekerja lagi... tapi aku rasa bangga sebab aku dapat..

"Best Customer Relation's Officer Service Award"

(sukaitaw..tapilepasnidahtakbolehnakbuatsambilleawasebabkenapakaibadge..demn!)

ehh ni haa.. aku nak tanya.. haha.. bukan nak tanya.. padahal aku pon selalu jugak buat.. but this one is really ridiculous.. cz you know why.. every each of guy look at that women when she's changing her coaches (as this is happen when i'm on my way back to Penang) and the thing that lingers in my head is that... why must guys "checked" out on that girl.. yes i must say that the girl if voluptuously hot and watering.. duhh... dosa kot.. haha.. but i do it as much as the other guys did.. hahaha... like do i care...

and the last thing that i want to rebate is that (wah2fefeelingdebatorpulekk) i want to ask you ladies out there.. because i got this information unveiled from a female senior back in the WSC tournament.. you see, we are supposed to go to Menara SaaS to arrange the tables for the some test.. yada3... i woke up late.. and apparently i was not alone... there are 2 seniors that are not late actually but they had work to do at our commanding room.. so we arrived at seroja's bus stop and we actually need to climb uphill to arrive to that tower.. uitmsalamstudent mesti tahu kan betapa tinggi bukit tu.. yes... aku belajar istilah ni...

UiTM = Universiti ini Tangga Manyak

so sue me that i learn this new term there... like i'm so sorry if i offended the UiTM parties.. i don't mean to put a joke on it.. but people do call US this... i stressed... US!!.. HAHA... so back to the story...

we were climbing uphill and i was like... 

so when i ask my senior to speed up a little bit.. she respond like this...

"ehh tanak la jalan laju2 nanti ketiak basah"

(don't walk too fast i don't want my armpit to get wet)

so i was like.. aaaaaa... okay... no wonder women, i stress... WOMEN.. walk slow and use the reason of

"we Malay ladies walk slow because we are decent"

decent??.. bwahahahahah..... OK... it's a bit rude of me.. yes.. some ladies do as what they describe... but for others... its like??... 

"are you trying to be Miss Malaysia??.. pfft.. forget it love. you ain't winning"

and last but not least.. my epic ending of this post is.... be like this cat... she's so adorable and a helping-hand..

(awww... you're so sweet.. miss nikita... oh you wabble swabble)

eh2??... bila kau jadi artis??

now i feel really unequivocal whether i'm going to write my post in malay or in english.... so i make a dceision to write it in malay and also in english from time to time i'll change the language...

so sekarang ni sebenarnya aku ada banyak benda yang aku nak cerita dekat korang semua benda lawak.. benda sedih.. benda penting.. macam macam yang aku nak cakap sebenarnya... okay... aku bagi tahu sikit pasal aku yee...

aku sekarang ni tengah demam sebab memikirkan apa yang sedang aku hadapi.. sebab aku tak dapat terima apa yang dia mahukan sebab benda tu bukan susah... all you need is to eliminate those thing... and i also don't know what... kenapa... sebab kau aku demam.. ataupun aku yang bodoh sebab demam tentang perkara yang mustahil kau akan lakukan...

dan aku akan compose nukilan ini sebagai lagu untuk kau...

since the moment I met you,

I feel the bloom that I am sure it's you,

and I keep you as I want you,

but it didn't get far,

I start to avoid you,

but i know I can't do,

I choose to let go of you.

you're the core of my addiction,

my barrier falls when I feel you near,

I shiver when you kiss me,

I tremble when you hug me,

I don't know but I believe,

that you and me are meant to be.

I know I can't let you go,

and I took my chances in loving you,

you are still you even I wish you are not you,

I fear we might not be together,

and that is why I fear.

so please come here with me,

cz I need you to trust me,

cz it's nothing you think it could be,

open your heart only for me,

and don't you let go of me.

(aku tulis ni time kerja tadi sebab terlalu boring)

so my writing is read by my other colleague.. what the heck... so i let them read it....

vinnoth

i like the first to stanza.. the rest is okay.. but the most interesting is that your writing plays with my heart..

thilaga

yes.. your writing does plays with my heart too.. but i want to ask... is this a true story or a made up??

awalkhamis

thanks vinnot.. actually tilaga this is a real story.. it does happens..

thilaga

kenapa dengan you orang ni??.. so you kenapa dengan dia...

and so of the answer is i just sit beside her and smile but crushed inside..

honey.. do not torture me much..

sayang why do you often do this to me.. i feel really bound to you.. not receiving your text is the most hardest thing when you already express your love towards me.. yes you do text me but that was not suffice.. because to be around your arms all the time is the most tempting things i would ever wanted..

sooo as of for that... i just want to tell you guys whom are reading this... this post are actually only trying to catch your attention.. and GOTCHA!!!...

haha... i know that the new update will only show the bold part of the text.. so to catch your attention i just merely trying to please you guys assuming i'm writing about something that is true..

so something true.. what is actually true or truth.. well the core part of it i can assure is that true or truth can be proved and proven to be something that is real and fact-full.. 

have been totally true to the people around you??.. for something that will jeopardize your life for sure that ain't going to be told because that would be a suicide..

well my friend had trouble with.. okay let say the person is A.. so A is bound to B which is A's best friend.. they have a groupies and had a gang.. long story short.. A falls for B and A does not like the feeling A's keeping in side.. so A seek for my guidance.. 

again long story short.. if you feel bound to someone and you know that the things will not going anywhere.. start move on honey.. you might say it is hard.. (yada3.. i don't want to know about your mid-life crisis...) try to overcome it by refusing.. because only by refusing you will get over that person and move on and by that the person will realized that you had no more interest in him/her.. 

List of things that you can do to overcome the situation of being bound..

1. stop texting the person

2. delete his/her text.

3. get rid of the feeling 'aww... you sent me a gudnite text'

4. if there is no more hope or it's only a "foreplay" stop doing it cz you know the other side only

    wanted to spare his/her time..

5. not to put too much hope.. cz when your hoping.. you'll break..

6. not to be psychopath if the person is a psychopath..

7. if you are keen to be a psychopath, try to learn on accept that its over.. people are many in this

    world..

8. remember that being a psycho IS NOT GIVING YOU ANY BETTER..

9. teach him/her a lesson that in brightest day, and in blackest night.. your will is your desire..

10. find yourself a tranquillity state of mind..

so to a friend.. i'm only a guy that willing you to help get through your problems.. and if anyone of you had a crisis that is similar to this or a contrary of it... try to adapt and thing..

we humans' are not that primitive with our thinking.. we are not mature sometimes but it doesn't mean that we are still primitive.. to be mature and not primitive is to let low the enthusiasms so that you can think..

this post went over a month of completion..

hmmm.. well.. it seems that i am moving on with new life and new people.. and i know this is the time.. time to move on.. AGAIN.. yes.. people do move on a lot of time due to occasions..

i know i'm ready to leave the things i'm ready.. to act mature is to know things maturely.. and i know that mature is not enough with only experience.. but also observation and on others' life.. plan ahead what am i going to do..  to leave people back is hard but people whom taking advantage of your kindness you need too stay away from them and be more agile..

love no more.. because it will came when He permits you to have.. so says Christina Perri

'Cause all that's waiting is regret 
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? 
You lost the love I loved the most 

3 verse of words that's all needed..

i'm taking this highway rolled out the trenched of agony of my life.. pathetic coloured by humorous narcissism of mine i would way.. but in a sarcastic way.. i'm a sloppy guy in shades of perfection..

to be really in to this i know i had despite you and removed you to be my paramore for me to be jubilant.. cz i'm no smart guy nor clumsily perfect.. but i know i do related to anyone of you through six-degree of personality compability..

in my confidence.. this will be a half way through.. but to live like what i really want is to go way in ages.. but ages is nothing if i believe and i do.. so my to do list is:

1. to remove unwanted people

2. being wanted in the unwanted
3. pursue my real dreams that people don't know
4. stopping the things i like to do
5. do destruction to one's lived
6. doing number 3
7. starts ignoring the ignorant people although people call you ignorant
8. searching for lights and companion that is truly within you and to your spaces
9. evaluating people long enough before you trust them (which i am.. just need to strengthen 'em)
10. BE THE 1 YOU REALLY WANT TO BE IN A CORRECT WAY.. (it's not a sin to have THAT kind of hobby)




so if you are thinking of moving on.. think what you really want and ignore things people would say because you know what you want.. and the most important things is to not look back at your paramore and stuck back with 'em..

intoxicated by wasabi

hellooooo....

alolololo... comeyyy nye... alololololo..... haha... sebenarnya pujian mengembangkan tu adalah untuk aku sebenarnya.... haha.. what ever... so actually... dengan masa yang agak terluang yang aku ada ini... aku pon menjelajah lah blog-blog follower aku yang diorang mengaku setia dengan blog aku(boleh percaya ke korang ni?)

wahh!!... i'm shocked to see that every single person of them has a really great headers and structure(perasaan cemburu mula bergolak) cantik laaaa..... pandainye korang buat benda niii..... (hipokrit) dan ada juga blog dan follower yang tidak aku kenali... macam ada satu blog ni.. aku ingatkan blog member aku time asasi dulu.. sekali tengok jantina dia tulen dan kesahihanya aku tak pasti.. sebab what i see is what i believe.. malas nak buat research korek sana sini.. tanya itu ini.. so biarkan ia menjadi begitu sebab by time in the future people themselves will reveal it to ask without us asking it..

kenapa aku bold perkataan tu... sebab... lately aku melihat ramai orang bagi tahu masalah dan situasi diri dia.. even aku sendiri.. tapi aku punya cara dengan menyelindungkan maksudnya.. so orang akan tertanya... tapi the general idea is also implement in the status i updated.. eventhough my blog and statuses didn't has their enough follower and likers.. but i'm still grateful...

so back to the thing i want to say.. actually today i don't have any specific idea.. because i just woke up and still with eye mucus.. hahahahah... i just want to say.. maybe that this is the way it is.. but most of the posting and idea nowadays are really interesting in spite the thing that literally back fired me...

haha.. i want to ask you guys.. if you guys were stranded with to people in a time.. what would you do..

Description

you like A and you love B.. but B doesn't want to commit to you.. A is waiting for you but you know that your heart is still with B and it's maybe impossible for both of you to be together but so HARD for you to let go and plus you know that A is always be there for you but not as what you fell towards A.. so literally you fall for both but more to B..

possible answer people will say:

People 1

awal.. i think the best think is to moved on with A or search for anyone else..

Me

"your heart is still with B and it's maybe impossible for both of you to be together but so HARD for you to let go"

People 23

people are judging through inner person but we don't know what A or B might do next..

Me

that point maybe true but let alone faulty season.. from that you can judge that person..

so people.. try on thinking that best solution you can give but not some cliché same old reason that people will think and the you might think the best result... i know you guys are smart and genius...