hatred, lies and jealousy

*deep sigh*

in the middle of almost -going to be- adolescent i had learn many things and most of the thing is learn is from my surrounding and people.. i am missing and all the good stuff that i endure.. trying to collapse my ego to the lowest part as it can be.. but i don't know is it progressing or not..

am i a big ego?? i would say yes and now indeed.. but in my egoistic attitude, i can still accept people advice, point of view and opinion.. is it good to have ego.. with this ego also i had loss many things and people in my life that i don't know someday will be a really great memoirs in my head.. to have that kind of paradigm in life is such a treasure..

referring to the title, all that is mentioned is a negative and provoke-able in doing and saying something foolish.. to be true -halfway of this writing i don't know where does it will going to- i wrote this in many feelings and a mixing memories..

or

this thing can be really a liability in life - take a gun and shoot your head with it- so that you can achieve many thing in life... saying that this might be true.. so do please say is it going to be a liability or an edge to something new..

flush it out man.. be strong with it.. for the mention you will be.. don't just say though you are... prove it... i know many of you dear readers also have this kind of feeling how did you guys cope with it.. cause to say it nicely i'm struggling with this..





p/s: friend, i know you will read this.. just so you know that i really care about you.. i know you are something special.. i'm a fool to let you go or trying to let you go..