can it be more disgusting?!

menyeru kepada semua rakan-rakan yang berwibawa dan cerdik pandai.. tolong la ada rasa bersih sikit dekat dalam diri tu sikit. like what the hel.. korang ni ingat tempat tu memang littering place korang ke? adoiii...

the story actually began like this..

as i watched the clock ticking and it showed that Asar is almost end, i quickly rise up from the bench at my study desk and went to the toilet to take a bath. so with happy feeling i took my towel and hurried myself to the toilet. at first i entered this one toilet, close and lock the door after i have had 'disrobe' myself suddenly i saw this!!!!...

-the scene-

-the horrifying evidence-

i was like... damn!!... apa ni wei!!.. jangan la pengotor sangat wei.. it is a pubic hair!!.. why do i assume that way. eh tak kan lah rambut kepala sampai banyak tu kot same goes with armpit hair it ain't going to be that bushy!.. shit! banyak pulak tu!.. dah berapa tahun kau bela? kau trim tu sebab kau nazar ea? dapat masuk UiTM kau trim pubic hair kau.. defak wey!...

kau ni la kawan. why do you have to do so. at least you can clear your own hair with your own hand by your own self. sedap2 trim sedap2 tinggal. what? you think that we don't have eyes of our own... blurrghhh... agak agak la wey..

( ~... ~   )

will a person stop trying?

trying. i have sighed deep for that word lately.

can a person survive without trying? i would say that most of you dear readers will say yes for the statement that i had just given to you guys. we were urge to try for the best of us bla bla bla (encouragement statement yadi yadi yada) because well i don't know what to describe because at this point i think i want to stop trying and also trying to be happy if literally i don't even felt so.

what is for to pretend something that you actually kept inside you for the sake of people will you as havoc and bubbly than anybody else because it is fucking pathetic. (woops!)

but yeah, frankly i think that trying to hard for something that you had been trying for aaageeessss should be stopped and start with something else. ditch it th old one. but what the heck. you ditch the old one but u gain a NEW WHOLE OF SET in the term 'trying'. like what was that supposed to mean. say that you want a new life but yet you keep on doing the verb the so-called 'precious' word because you know what 

It ain't work that way!!

yeah yeah yeah. it should be something encouraging and mind-opening something-something here eventually it is ain't happening yet this is the bad side of me when i have felt soooooooo fed-up with the thing that i've tried. i don't actually get it what i wrote earlier but i know its a twisted words but i think you'll get what i mean and the main point is i'm frustrating facing here is

HOW CAN A PERSON IS TO BE HAPPY WHEN ALL THE HAPPINESS HE'S TRYING TO CONCEALED ACTUALLY NEVER EXIST!? 

In the other hand, i personally think that us as human being cannot run away from the word TRYING. yeah, i need to get a grip of thing actually. what i say up there is actually to perish all of the blocked feeling inside me the negative thought i've bared for quite a long time since many heart breaking event happen this past few months and i bet that my new year post will be every exposing that cannot be eradicate yes completely.

so as of tonight, I MUST YES AGAIN "TRY". TRYING TRYING TRYING. TO GAIN HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, MONEY, POWER. HURGHH.. it fluctuate form what i want in the real path but i must stressed on the capitalized letter. but at some point i feel that getting away from people and try to stand on my own feet. what i mean is to let people find for you not you the one finding people although it might sound egoistic but be the man you know you can be and stop giving hints Mr. AwalKhamis!

is it?

today is your birthday,

earlier this week i hope that i'll be the one that wishes you Happy Birthday! first. but it seems that i did not manage to do so and yes i am totally disappointed with that because what the heck, a person -one of- that is really matter in your life when it reach to matter like this you are not there to be the first.. it's hard laa..

i was doing my assignment when i started to realized that it is already 1:03PM. i was 1 hour late to wish you... addoii macam ni la kan tapi biasa la, bila dah terlalu komited nak buat benda tu bom jatuh pun kita tak dengar. so i try to call you and i was thinking that your where asleep because i called you twice and it seemed that you switch off your phone and by that i assume that you were already asleep. so, i text you a 2 and a half page text explaining myself to you but when i almost press the "send" button, you called.. YOU CALLED!!

aku apa lagi, dah la berkurun kau tak contact aku and now you called me.. on your birthday in the middle of the night.. well the positive thing you called me in the middle of the night whereas the painful fact is that the call was free.. because its your birthday.. but nevermind.. so as i counted.. since the past 3 years me knew tonight is the 3 times you called me..

is rather a good achieve for me by you and i really appreciate it a lot dear person.. because i'm too speechless of what happen and still drowning, so as i say.. 

thank you for the call and the picture..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

you'll always be my belly mucux!!..

summer morning,

the sky will not always bright,

collision of weather,

not cause trouble,

but serenity to peaceful realm.

nature in damp and cold,

whisper the gentle breeze

with cozy affection.

indescribably majestic,

trees shedding tears in mist,

of what happen to the world,

of voracious lust.

be there for me,

be mine when i'm lonely,

be by my side when i need thee,

not anymore i ask from you for me.

is to stay not to leave me,

only you i can foresee,

the nature that was given for me.

     

-AwalKhamis-    

3.28PM

3rd November 2011