semalam aku terasa sebak

semalam aku terasa sangat terkecewa dengan diri aku. knp?? sebab semua macam dah nak berakhir dengan perkataan yang sangat membuatkan keadaan akan menjadi lebih tegang kerana tiada..

the end

moving on *tears wiped*

aaaa... what is it i'm gonna write??.. but umm.. ok.. i want to say that my final exam was screwed up.. what is the matter with the people who setup the question or is it me whom not to struggle enough.. accounting alhamdulillah aku lepas.. b-grade.. ok la for non-acCOUNTING person like me to strive.

then towards relation matters it goes wayyyy down the stream with all the junk and tiring stuff.. i mean i have been single for almost a year already and its shocking because i stayed this long. to keep it much more longer is a maybe for me because i cannot say that i will.. getting used to it but yeah, now i social a lot. not like what i used to do with myself and me this time is much more 'corporate' and westernize kinda way..

i'm going to China in few days in order to setup my sister's company and next planning perhaps going to Korea but it still in planning site..

hold up!

what is wring indeed with me exactly?

what is it like to be someone that has a crisis and a big one in his life.. like "oh you need to see the counselor or you can share it with me".. honey i've done that but the result was i end up hearing you talk about yourself and your pathetic love story.. it does not encourage me at all instead i want to kick you... i ain't here to here you smuggle me with all those stories i'm the one who should have done that to you weirdo.. like Rihanna said just gonna stand there and watch burn.. i'm burning is that what i am facing right now..

but it did not turn out to be that horrible hearing those thing because i did learn things from the story u gave me.. 

i want to find something for encouragement for me to stay 'alive' i wanted to go to the bookstore soon looking for books that will actually like the one that i bought previously to sharpen back my lingual say now i rarely speak English at all yeah i can write but when i speak i sounds like i was using standard 4 English language..

provision in this must be taken.. even reading blog also i seldom doing it. i always wanted to be surrounded with an English user people like in Shah Alam.. but yet what i want i did not get it..

i think dah sampai sini kot i ran out of words..

my resolution is what ever happens, happen

2011..

and now is the third day in 2012.

2011 kick start with a cripple left arm while in the mean time i was surrounded with the person i love and dearest the most. i'm living my new life in the second semester in TeSL. i have terrific roommates and a wholly whole new classmates. i end up to register a bit late than other people because of the accident i ran into but seriously i do look hot when i'm in it. haha.. i believe than i was a man-whore!!. lol!!.. like seriously that was a joke.

first quarter of the year is rendezvous. why? i was appointed as a director in a play which an assignment we were needed to accomplish.. i was really happy with the teammates aka classmates i have had. i was King Henry the 8th and my 'spouse' is kakak (=.=" sumbang mahram betol) she plays Queen Catherine dowager princess of Wales and also hihihihihihii... miraa (sigh with lovestruck) as an evil first-lady-in-waiting-then-a-queen Anne Boleyn. yadiyadiyada bla bla bla. in the end the play went to be 1 of the best 3 plays out of 6 plays throughout the two days of the play (as rated by us in which play miss Sally).

things are going smoothly and afiq pon ada sini dan aku pon sangat happy sebab boleh keluaq dengan lulu and also afiq. hoho.. turbulence2 here and there but i manage to survive. me and Fara Aisyah?. hmm.. turn out to be odd.. i am completely sure that all is my fault. dia ok kot korang!.. calon bini A1 tu.. like seriously.. dia hati batu (sebab aku), dia tak menangis sia-sia (sebab aku), dia 'comel' (salah dia bukan aku), dia sangat dengar cakap (takut kena bebel dengan aku #takut ke?) so on so on. ok.. now i know la that she is actually something that i should have had appreciated back then but instead dia aku bua macam tisu. cukup 6 bulan kami broke off.. kejap je dengan dia.. adehh.. tacing pulak aku ni khenn... pondan sangat uollss..

then after all of us have finishes the course we started out our own ways. living all of the nightmares and beautiful dreams forever afloat inside my mind. 2 semester had turn out to be tremendously fruitful in my anger management, decision making and also rationality. i started to bond more with myself.

i went back to penang and search for vacancy. i receive many offer from friends who had business everywhere. lastly i chose to work with TGV Cinemas at Jusco nearby. started working on the 1st April and now it almost a year i've been there. whoa!.. i thought i never survive there. as always people come and goes. tahun ni tak exciting sangat macam 2010 it turn out to be dull and dry.

mid 2011 i was elected as one of the liaison officer for the World Scholar Cup. it was a competition from many countries like UAE, China, Aussie etc etc. i met new people and learn new things like usually does. but this time the experience is different because the people below your age outside of Malaysia is much more homosapien  than -what i saw- people in Malaysia. i don't know how to explain but when you hear them talking and act they were actually more 'unprimitive' then us here. 

OH!! raya!!.. i have 3 outfit for it.. ohooohohoh.. ala2 diva gitew. of kozey la awalkhamis kena ada outfit vogehdebas yang banyak dan santik masham ituw.. hahah.. #gedik bapak.

then in September i was eligible to further my study not in TeSL or anything related to linguistic. but as a student in Bachelor in Science of Culinary Arts and Management in UiTM Pulau Pinang. i was like =.=" you gotta be kidding me. that was my last choice.. am i that dumb2 enough not to have something i like (ok i get an interview for journalism but i didn't go for it #such a waste) tapi ok la.. i thing its worth it. i can look after my mom and getting more money.. hihi.. again people comes and goes.

so lastly in 2011.

as what i have had been told, i taught people a lot but it is ought to be real because i myself did not see it.

they say i taught them ow to think, to live, and to decide but yet i did not do it. in easy way i was saying it without my conscious and i tend to forget what i have said. it is like i was possessed or something. 

as the headline is true yes. i am following the flow and also i am thinking of what have i thought before is going to be my target for this year as i turn to be 20 years old.