hatred, lies and jealousy

*deep sigh*

in the middle of almost -going to be- adolescent i had learn many things and most of the thing is learn is from my surrounding and people.. i am missing and all the good stuff that i endure.. trying to collapse my ego to the lowest part as it can be.. but i don't know is it progressing or not..

am i a big ego?? i would say yes and now indeed.. but in my egoistic attitude, i can still accept people advice, point of view and opinion.. is it good to have ego.. with this ego also i had loss many things and people in my life that i don't know someday will be a really great memoirs in my head.. to have that kind of paradigm in life is such a treasure..

referring to the title, all that is mentioned is a negative and provoke-able in doing and saying something foolish.. to be true -halfway of this writing i don't know where does it will going to- i wrote this in many feelings and a mixing memories..

or

this thing can be really a liability in life - take a gun and shoot your head with it- so that you can achieve many thing in life... saying that this might be true.. so do please say is it going to be a liability or an edge to something new..

flush it out man.. be strong with it.. for the mention you will be.. don't just say though you are... prove it... i know many of you dear readers also have this kind of feeling how did you guys cope with it.. cause to say it nicely i'm struggling with this..





p/s: friend, i know you will read this.. just so you know that i really care about you.. i know you are something special.. i'm a fool to let you go or trying to let you go..

you guys are brilliant.. keep it up

there are times in my life that i wish that time will stop so that i can precious the moment that is going through more severely immense in me..

having memories that is most valuable is cunningly divine..

heart, mind and soul need to be one in endearing something that is.. so.. what does it relate to my writing.. well firstly, before my laptop was stolen fortnight ago i am writing a novel which is halfway through and i forgot to make a copy of it and lots of other things.. i let the thief run along with my stuff because sometimes we can't prevent these things to happen -take cautions- in moment we didn't even think off..

most people don't know that i wrote novels, short-stories and poems.. i didn't revealed it cause i'm not that confident enough to show my writing to people.. for only people that i think i can make do with i gave them read it.. nevertheless  is the passion in writing.. passion in writing can actually develop your mind from being under the weather to be out of the box..

i am self assured that the process of thinking come from the senses we have.. by watching, hearing, touching.. the stimuli given to the brain make us think and develop new idea from it..

in example of blogging.. we express our thoughts and feeling.. some make it a diary, some make it a companion.. nevermind what you guys do as long as you have the interest of writing.. i have many so called amature writers which is my friends.. brilliant things -sometimes they do- written and to be frank i most follow blogs that i would say their words and writing is amazing like yong sofea, aqida, rauf, melle and etc that is more to be mentioned now.. i may not know other brilliant writers.. but the one that i've gotten and followed is much mesmerize and refreshing food-for-thought..

so anyone that have blog whom follow my blog.. don't hesitate to give me your link or even tumblr or anything that is in reading style.. 

wahh!!!... heavynya posting aku kali ni.. my intention of giving lite reading to you guys but when i read it become heavy.. sorry guys.. tapi ni la aku nak cakap... kalau korang ada idea apa-apa yang terlintas difikiran terus jot it down on a parchment or notes app on your phone or anywhere so that you can save it and say something about it..

sebab ilmu yang dikongsi dengan orang lain akan lebih bernilai dan bertambah.. jangan malu untuk menulis apa yang terlintas difikiran anda kerana tiada siapa dapat halang anda dari berbuat demikian.. semua telah dibenarkan dalam perlembagaan article 10 -freedom of speech- namun kemudahan yang diberi janganlah disalahgunakan yang bermaksud menulis sesuatu yang tidak releven dan tak dapat mencetuskan susah pada diri sendiri..

dengan itu.. berfikirlah dahulu sebelum menulis apa-apa... jangan terlalu mengikut kata orang

"ehh suka aku la nak tulis apa.. ada aku kacau kau ke??"

"kisah pulak akukan kau nak bunyi2.. mampus aku laa.."

amalan ini tidak baik sebab ia menunjukkan betapa egonya anda untuk tidak menerima pandangan orang lain..

jawaplah dengan jawapan yang sopan dan tidak menyakitkan hati mana-mana orang.

"aku tulis apa yang aku rasa.. maafkan aku kalau kau sakit hati.. boikot la kalau kau mahu"

"aku cuba untuk kongsi apa yang aku tahu dan apa yang fikirkan.. tu saja"

sopankan.. ngee~!

i hate u till i die..

aku memang tidak akan percaya dan sayang kau lagi sampai bila.. sebab kau lah aku sanggup jadi macam ni.. sial!!!.  

caption kena striking and controversial baru la ade orang minat.. hihi... semua tu cuma rekaan.. jangan salah faham 

the longing that i've been waiting is mostly perfect to determine who i am in the future and i can accept that now from the time that i have trouble to face it.. 

i officially said that i'll be pursuing my study in

"Bachelor of science (hons.) in Culinary Arts and Managements"

at first when i receive this deceiving fact i was like "What?????!!" so tak apa-apalah.. i know i'll be fine.. kalau aku tak suka mesti aku tak pilih on the first place.. so let it be.. siapa nak makan free sediakan bahan aku akan masak untuk korang.. hihi... tapi kena la buat appointment dulu.. haha. chewahh...

dua cerita aku nak kongsi dengan korang semua... yang pertama pasal security guard dekat shopping mall yang aku kerja ni... haaaaaaaiiiiihhh....

they were so ANNOYING!!!...

story goes like this.. on every each days, my manager will gave them a copy of our daily shows start and end time... tapi... dorang ni sangat rajin yang teramat sangat... on everyday dorang akan naik kat tempat kerja aku dan tanya..

Security Guard 1 (SG1)

dek.. masuk last pukul berapa.. habes pukul berapa.. abang nak yang start dari pukul 10pm masuk dan keluar dalam jam yang sama... lepas tu jam lain..

so aku mula-mula dengan perasaan ikhlas layan la encik ni... tapi pakgad ni dengan muka bodohnya berkata dia tak faham apa yang aku terangkan.. ape ke pekak dan lembabnya otak pakgad tu... aku dah terangkan sgt detail... bukan aku cakap bahasa tamil atau urdu dgn dia... BAHASA MALAYSIA OKAY... so mood marah 2.0 mula naiklah... aku terang sekali lagi... lepas aku terangkan aku bertanya..

AwalKhamis

kami  bukan dah hantar ke jadual harian show dekat security department

SG1

alahh.... bukan sama pon dengan yang dekat sini

AwalKhamis

*senyum plastik, tangan cengkam mouse, hati !@%$!@$%*^... ohh yekee... *nada diplomatik* tapi kan bang.. bila kami dah hantar daily showtime.. mesti la sama apa yang department abang dapat...

SG1

lain... tak sama pon...

aku dengan perasaan marahnya beredar bila pakgad tu berambus... aku ke belakang dan menyumpah seranah pakgad2 yang datang tanya.. ya mungkin bukan salah mereka.. apa salahnya kalau kau tengok dan update diri kau untuk tengok notice board.. sangat MENJENGKELKAN... lagi jengkel dari chatbox fb yang baru.. ye mungkin korang akan cakap.....

kawan 32

alaahh awal.. kau ni... cakap je laa... bukan kau rugi pape pon... kau kata bazir air liur... pegi la belakang minum air..

kawan546

kau ni garang sangat.. cuba kawal sikit api amarah kau tu..

masalahnye.... hari hari diorang datang tanya benda yang sama benda yang kami dan yang datangya bukan 1 kadang kadang tu 2 3 orang, ape hal!!.. bukan menghina tapi tawu la korang tu badan + size.. tapi jangan seksa kami sampai berkali-kali.. sudah la customer pon agak dapat yang stok2 kena cakap 5 6 belas kali baru paham.. ni nak bagi korang pulak pahamm.. memang mintak lesing r..

ni lagi satu kes yang aku musykil.. does Malaysian people is that lazy to read... because why guys... it's actually most tragic when people had give most everything to them for mutual convenient

story is like this.. dekat exit door yang akan digunakan oleh customer untuk keluar telah ditampal perkataan

"EXIT DOOR PUSH"

so as an evidence to believe that people is lazy to read is when they actually look only at the door hence seeing the door is close they use the entrance which is side by side.. an isle had been made for them to actually walk down straight through the exit door... what for the isle is made is the door is closed.. keje gile ape.. kalau macam tu.. memang sah2 la salah management... nak kata buta perut, belajar pepandai.. nak kata buta, pakai contact lens sampai nak terkeluar dari mata.. ape ke susahnya... macam2 ler... padahal benda ni memang common thing yang kadang2 tu kita sendiri tak perasan.. and yes self also need to take note the thing but tak kan la kemudahan yang orang dah bagi tu tak tahu nak guna.. orang dah senangkan kerja... saja nak turun tangga buka blockade yang kami buat guna barrel menyusahkan diri.. susah betoll...

Malaysian and also myself... please help yourself to ease people work.. we are not dumbass.. we are one of the developing country... wake up people... kalau makcik jual goreng pisang boleh pakai blackberry, abang jual air tebu pakai iPhone dengan tetapan bahasa inggeris boleh maju dan paham.. takkan benda mudah tak dapat ikut..