its you again.. Hai

wow!!

2011 is almost at the end. so as of for my 1st semester here. at the time i'm writing this i was actually take 'a few minute' break from accomplishing my home assignment. 

letih la juga buat kerja ni semua sebab minggu ni paling hectic yang pernah aku lalui DEKAT sini and it is not even final yet. baguslah kalau masa final nanti tak banyak kerja macam aku tengah pecah kepala dan bermigrain sekarang ni. this week is a very hectic weeks because:

1. going to Langkawi

2. Lots of 'replacement' class (not to be elaborate)

3. Dealing with jobs opportunities

4. DELF

5. Account

6. Tests, Quizzes dan sewaktu dengannya

7. etc etc

what ever happens and come towards me or us, we need to endure it with no hesitation and sigh. because when you sigh it shows how frustrated and negative you are. but i often sigh myself. 

now lets talk about December. well obviously it's almost at the end of the year and i have to start drafting my yearly blog on 1st January 2012. well last month is quite challenging and heart-throbbing for me but yet i myself improvING the situation myself to make it better. if you did not do it then who else it is your situation and do not even dream or having glance of people changing it for you because it is rather impossible yotch.

hmm.. later back last year in November i have many extraordinary excitement and pain happen. because it has been already a year since the accident. i'm getting better and better of well-being. in that particular month also happen a relationship of me with her which incur early of that month and i just realized that i have no post related to you. only a post that i say of unpredictable. see how pathetic i am so cold and macam orang eskimo hatinya or i think its colder =.="

well honey. i actually raise up this post when i actually thought of you, November and us. but that happen just now is a memory. either it is precious or not, you by yourself and i by myself knew.

So... hmmm.. i still won't say it because of my traits of egoistic.. and this post is for you.

can it be more disgusting?!

menyeru kepada semua rakan-rakan yang berwibawa dan cerdik pandai.. tolong la ada rasa bersih sikit dekat dalam diri tu sikit. like what the hel.. korang ni ingat tempat tu memang littering place korang ke? adoiii...

the story actually began like this..

as i watched the clock ticking and it showed that Asar is almost end, i quickly rise up from the bench at my study desk and went to the toilet to take a bath. so with happy feeling i took my towel and hurried myself to the toilet. at first i entered this one toilet, close and lock the door after i have had 'disrobe' myself suddenly i saw this!!!!...

-the scene-

-the horrifying evidence-

i was like... damn!!... apa ni wei!!.. jangan la pengotor sangat wei.. it is a pubic hair!!.. why do i assume that way. eh tak kan lah rambut kepala sampai banyak tu kot same goes with armpit hair it ain't going to be that bushy!.. shit! banyak pulak tu!.. dah berapa tahun kau bela? kau trim tu sebab kau nazar ea? dapat masuk UiTM kau trim pubic hair kau.. defak wey!...

kau ni la kawan. why do you have to do so. at least you can clear your own hair with your own hand by your own self. sedap2 trim sedap2 tinggal. what? you think that we don't have eyes of our own... blurrghhh... agak agak la wey..

( ~... ~   )

will a person stop trying?

trying. i have sighed deep for that word lately.

can a person survive without trying? i would say that most of you dear readers will say yes for the statement that i had just given to you guys. we were urge to try for the best of us bla bla bla (encouragement statement yadi yadi yada) because well i don't know what to describe because at this point i think i want to stop trying and also trying to be happy if literally i don't even felt so.

what is for to pretend something that you actually kept inside you for the sake of people will you as havoc and bubbly than anybody else because it is fucking pathetic. (woops!)

but yeah, frankly i think that trying to hard for something that you had been trying for aaageeessss should be stopped and start with something else. ditch it th old one. but what the heck. you ditch the old one but u gain a NEW WHOLE OF SET in the term 'trying'. like what was that supposed to mean. say that you want a new life but yet you keep on doing the verb the so-called 'precious' word because you know what 

It ain't work that way!!

yeah yeah yeah. it should be something encouraging and mind-opening something-something here eventually it is ain't happening yet this is the bad side of me when i have felt soooooooo fed-up with the thing that i've tried. i don't actually get it what i wrote earlier but i know its a twisted words but i think you'll get what i mean and the main point is i'm frustrating facing here is

HOW CAN A PERSON IS TO BE HAPPY WHEN ALL THE HAPPINESS HE'S TRYING TO CONCEALED ACTUALLY NEVER EXIST!? 

In the other hand, i personally think that us as human being cannot run away from the word TRYING. yeah, i need to get a grip of thing actually. what i say up there is actually to perish all of the blocked feeling inside me the negative thought i've bared for quite a long time since many heart breaking event happen this past few months and i bet that my new year post will be every exposing that cannot be eradicate yes completely.

so as of tonight, I MUST YES AGAIN "TRY". TRYING TRYING TRYING. TO GAIN HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, MONEY, POWER. HURGHH.. it fluctuate form what i want in the real path but i must stressed on the capitalized letter. but at some point i feel that getting away from people and try to stand on my own feet. what i mean is to let people find for you not you the one finding people although it might sound egoistic but be the man you know you can be and stop giving hints Mr. AwalKhamis!