is it true??

have u ever wonder why people that u did not do wrong to is very cruel and bad to u... u did not do anything bad to that person... but the person kept saying and throw shits about the thing that is not true.. have u ever wanted to ask and want to know why, but u dont think that it is the right time yet or u dont have enough guts to ask or things is still in control.. i'm sure we used to be in that position..

have u ever wonder why do some people were too obsessed wif u.. although u had been explaining for a thousand times the reason and maybe consequense.. because sometime we maybe overwhelmed wif it.. but its not gonna be forever...

have u ever been in a crush state where u were down like hell and eventually no one can speak out or give u enough intention to overcome the so-called 'fear'.. because yes.. sumtimes we crucially need it.. but sumtimes we need to be alone to figure it out by our own.. and i would say for me being alone to figure things is good.. but most of the time me myself seek for other people wisdom...

have u ever loved someone like there is no tomorrow??.. i am always like that.. i love all the people that i used to be cruel to.. dinie.. fathi.. acap.. nieda.. fasihah.. am.. nadya.. etc2... and most of all to my beloved siblings.. arif bahari.. azwa asham and fara aisyah.. i loved them... many2.. i've been obsessed in loving someone like maniac.. and it caused me a lot of trouble.. because u will do anything for them... well technically.. not all..

have u ever felt depressed like wanna cry everytime u 'crushed' sumthing that u precious the most.. like breaking ur parents heart for example.. for me.. i havent done that to my mom.. its a lie if i did not do it at all.. i do break it a lot.. but i make it up back to her.. and she except me.. but for others i did it a lot... and they kept forgiving me and dont loose hope.. i rarely appreciate it.. because sumtimes im a denial person.. but have u guys being in that mode of depression??..

have u ever been annoyed wif somone like 'OMG!!... IM GONNA KILL YOU... BIG TIME!!!...' haha.. yes... only we know when u annoyed wif someone.. for me.. i used to annoyed wif  someone that i shouldn't... im a staright forward person in things that im annoyed with.. i used to be wif most of my classmates.. because when im annoyed i will try to know and think why do i felt annoyed wif that person..

what ever we have beeen through but remember.. there is always answer for anything... for me.. i havent found a lot of answer to my questions.. and it is a lot..

thanks to people that is being cruel to me... yes... i do have people like that in my life..

thanks to people that is obsessed wif me.. yes.. sumtimes it do freaks me out...

thanks to people that gave wisdom to me.. yes.. this time i really appreciate it..

thanks to people that i loved.. yes.. it did cheer me up.. to my siblings.. im bad and i will never be good enough for u guys..

thanks to people that always forgave me.. yes... i do feel ashamed of myself..

thanks to people that felt annoyed with me.. there is a reason why did it..

u need to really know me then i will felt really happy and small matters will not happen..

do not simply say..

'awal.. i know u.. u are a person that is not hard to be figure out'

maybe yes...

but u guys were wrong..

there is many more thing that u guys dont know me..

who i am really from the inside..